Yet Another Failure

I think it's obvious that of all the things that I dislike in this world, I am at or near the top of the list.

I have tried to rectify this situation through the discontinuation of my medication. Seemed like an easy plan. Just stop and let nature take its course.

I have discovered one thing that I dislike more than continued existence: Being fat. Since I stopped my blood pressure meds I have gained 20 pounds. Correlation doesn't necessary indicate causation, but the correlation is pretty strong here, and I have experience and precedents that tell me one likely follows from the other.

So, I will likely have to start taking my meds again, which is a shame because I know the strategy was working. It's amazing how much the body can deteriorate in just a couple weeks. But at the same time, the threat of continued existence at a greatly increased body weight is too much to risk.

I have a few alternatives in mind.

Shouldn't Be Long Now

I noted the other day that my blood pressure was 163/108. I found a nice little website that documents what that means.

Here's the money paragraph:

"High blood pressure in this range can cause symptoms such as headache, nausea and vomiting, mental confusion, vision changes, chest pain, or shortness of breath. If you notice any of these symptoms, your high blood pressure is considered a hypertensive emergency and you need to call 911. During a hypertensive emergency, a medical team will work to bring your blood pressure down quickly. If you don't have these symptoms but your blood pressure remains high, doctors call this "hypertensive urgency." It's important to seek medical attention for hypertensive urgency, so that doctors can help bring your blood pressure down over a period of hours to days."

Headache? Check. Every day.

Mental Confusion? Check. A little more all the time.

Vision Changes? Check. My eyes no longer focus together: I have to read through one or the other.

Chest Pain? Check. Especially when I'm walking, which used to be one of my few pleasures. Now it's a chore.

Shortness of Breath? Check. It's now hard to get up the stairs.

Nausea and Vomiting? Not so much. Yet, anyway.

Call 911? Not a chance. And if I pass out and someone else calls, I will refuse treatment when/if I come back around.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm not choosing to go, I'm choosing to not extend my life by artifical means, of which, I think we can agree, medications are one.

Frankly, I just hope I have enough warning to write one final post to say goodbye.

But, if not...no big deal. It's not as if anyone gives, excuse my language, please, a flying fuck, anyway.

A Tad High

Just had my blood pressure taken, or as I like to say, "tooken."
Tomorrow, it will be three weeks since I quit my medications. This is, incidentally, almost the exact time I was off my medications before my stroke four years ago. My blood pressure was 163/108, which is, according to the American Heart Association, just 2 points diastolic (the lower number) from requiring emergency hospitalization. Which I would refuse anyway.

So, my headaches and dizziness are not just side effects of withdrawal from my antidepressants, but have an actual medical cause. I've my left eyelid tends to be a little lower than the right when my eyes are fully open, and that's new. My heart beats faster and harder now when I walk at what used to be my normal pace, and I get short of breath fairly quickly. I've noticed my left eye also sometimes goes out of focus, and sometimes I get bright bands of flashing "lights" behind my eyelids.

I'm curious as to what my cholesterol is, now that I've stoped those medications, as well.

It's amazing how quickly the human body can deteriorate when you just lose interest in going on.

I'll keep you posted.

Thanks, Barry!

This Thanksgiving season, one of my longtime co-workers got some welcome news: The monthly premium on her family's healthcare plan was only going up $12!

Of course, the deductible went from $1000 to $7000, but hey: eggs, omelets, etc.

Of course, with my somewhat conservative bent, I reminded her who told her this was going to happen: Not just me, but pretty much every conservative in the country.

She, like me, is something of a medical miracle: neither of us would be alive if it weren't for modern medical science. So, I gently reminded her of the millions of dollars that the Death Panels could save by refusing us care as "Not worth the expense involved."

On the bright side, after 60 years, she now can finally get free birth control.

Settled Law

I thought that with the Obamacare meltdown in full swing, and Queen Nancy and others out there still letting us know that It's. The. Law. and that it's "Settled Law," that I might take a look at other laws that were "Settled Law," at least until they weren't.

Remember, it's only "Settled Law" when the "Progressives"  and democRats like it, otherwise, it's only a suggestion.

So, bearing this in mind, here are some "Settled Laws" throughout history. (Warning: One pretty gruesome image after the jump (or maybe two))

Another Day, Another Anti-depressant

Well, I have another appointment with my doctor tomorrow, the first since I almost got pinkslipped and sent for a three-day vacation. I'm going for an evaluation of the efficacy of my anti-depressant, which are having minimal to no effect. I'm wondering if it's going to do any good.

I've been on meds now for almost 6 months, and they seemed to have some effect at first, but by mid-August, I was back to feeling way down.  And it's only gotten worse since. I've been depressed for over a year, and this last month was the worst of all, even with the new meds.

I don't know if anyone is out there listening, or if anybody cares. I seem to have alienated pretty much everyone I care for, and that cares for me (or that I thought cared for me). I can't think of one person that I've spent any significant time with that could, over the last year, say that my presence in their life has been a net positive, on balance. If I could take a magic eraser and erase my presence from everyone's lives over the last year, the happiness level of the world would rise significantly. I'd do it if I could.

I've pretty much alienated everyone, I guess.

I wonder if the way I feel is my New Normal. Sometimes I wonder if I've had another stroke that destroyed the happiness center of my brain. I'm tired and feel really alone. The only consolation is that I'm pretty sure I'm over halfway through. I can't imagine another 44 years.

Obamacare in One Sentence

Obamacare: All the efficiency and competence of the DMV, combined with the compassion of the IRS, coming soon to a hospital near you.

Fraud Alert: Fake Healthcare.gov Websites

I've heard a report that there are over 700 fake Obamacare websites trolling for victims.
Supposedly, most of them look almost exactly like the authentic version except for one critical feature: You can actually log on and apply.

Caveat Emptor.

Bending the Cost Curve

When the democRats forced Obamacare through Congress, they kept telling us they wanted to "Bend the cost curve of healthcare downward." Well, now that people are finding out how much their new policies are going to cost (because the old ones they could "keep" suddenly went away), let me remind you of why healthcare costs are so high in the first place: democRat government programs. Here's an illustration:

Those are real numbers by the way: For a unit of blood cells to be transfused, the government reimburses the hospital less than the hospital pays the Red Cross for that unit. And consider that at my hospital, approximately 60% of transfusions are to Medicare patients. 

So, where does that extra $17 come from? Take a wild guess.

This happens in other departments, as well. Ever wonder why a hospital charges $3 (or more) for a Tylenol pill? The government reimburses the pharmacy less than the pharmacy pays for a large variety of medications. 

So the democRats get the credit for "providing healthcare," and you get stuck with the tab.

And this is just ONE example of how liberal policies have CREATED the "crisis" that the democRats now claim that only more government can "solve."

Never let a crisis go to waste. And if there's no crisis, create one. It's the liberal Alinsky way.