Opportunity

I have been searching for some time for a new job. Over a year.

I took a PRN (as needed) position with the Cleveland Clinic in September. I enjoy it. It provides money that is slowly bringing my debt down, ad well as allowing me to do other things. like this past week's trip to the waterpark. I know some people think that those trips are frivolous or wasteful, like a trip to the amusement park, but I think there is a great benefit to them, especially if you have kids.

(I love introducing my kids to the biggest, baddest rollercoasters I rode as a kid. And the great ones my dad rode as a kid. And the idea that some day, they will introduce THEIR kids to all of these and more. (There's a new one going in at Six Flags north of Chicago that looks crazy awesome.) I think that's a rite of childhood that kids to which have almost a right.)

Sadly, my current full time position continues to deteriorate in a number of ways, as does my marriage.

I have been researching new positions and have come to the conclusion that I have to leave north east Ohio. I spoke with my wife, briefly, and she seems receptive to the idea of never leaving the area, ever, ever, ever.

So, an impasse.

Or not.

I am on the verge of applying for a position as a civilian employee with the Air Force. I know, the Navy is way cooler, but they're not looking right now. This position is one of about 40 or 50 available nationwide. I could end up almost anywhere. Though I would like to move south, where the weather is warmer, there are a few interesting possibilities elsewhere.

While Biloxi and Gulfport seem like good choices, I would love the opportunity to take a spot in Idaho or Utah. I know: Snow and cold. But: Mountains and fresh air. I think the trade off would be fair. I would actually take the one at Elmendorf AFB in Anchorage, just to be daring. The most important thing is to be some place fairly conservative for when the Troubles begin.

And they will begin.

I'm scared and alone, and it seems I likely to be even more alone, very soon. I worry my kids will think I'm abandoning them. My wife...well I don't really care much WHAT she thinks these days, as it's become obvious she cares very little for what I think.

A discussion I had at church a week ago leads me to believe that this is a decision that God will support me in, if I feel it necessary. I think it is, but I still feel like a failure. Of course, that's nothing new, so what the heck.